


Forlorn

by SpankedbySpike



Series: J3 Established Relationship Verse [5]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Loneliness, M/M, Multi, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-08
Updated: 2012-11-08
Packaged: 2017-11-18 05:25:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/557354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpankedbySpike/pseuds/SpankedbySpike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen is spending his Christmas Holidays with an itinerant theatre troupe and misses home and the security he gets there…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forlorn

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Song fic for team challenge based on: [Turn the Page](http://www.myspace.com/bobseger/music/songs/turn-the-page-25986359#!) by Bob Seger (click on the link to listen to the song if you do not know it).  
>  crossposted on my LJ: http://spankedbyspike.livejournal.com/31162.html

Too many long days, and too many sleepless nights blurred into each others. Jensen was exhausted, alone and far from home. Taping for the show had barely closed that already he had to be on the road for this itinerant theatre production. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, months ago, the challenge had been exhilarating. Now, though, he felt a cold coming and the two remaining weeks will probably feel the longest and loneliest he could imagine. Jensen wanted to come home, even the silence was oppressive and the thump thump of the tires on the pavement instead of putting him to sleep as usual just beat the steady and boring rhythm of his gloominess.

 

On a long and lonesome highway East of Omaha  
You can listen to the engine Moanin' out his one note song […]

 

He had made two phone calls today. The first one had been wasted, the machine picking up and the beep disturbed him enough that he managed non-sensical words that will make no sense. The second one had to be quick but at least he could whisper how much he missed being home. And now, here he was, on a nameless road, with nothing and no one to anchor him, no service on his phone to text, and a headache that wouldn’t quit.

 

[…] But your thoughts will soon be wandering The way they always do  
When you're ridin' sixteen hours And there's nothin' much to do  
And you don't feel much like ridin', You just wish the trip was through […]

 

The high from the troupe’s performance on stage had been incredible. As usual, he had lived for the moment, the spotlight, the instant validation he sometimes missed on the tv show. Here, the types of clapping and the instant ovations always give you a gauge to determine how well you did and how much you shine. All actors relished that particular moment when everything fades away but the validation in this room, the party in the back, the accolades and the drinks. What no one talks about it the long dull moments in between, the harsh travelling conditions, the bare sleeping arrangements and the idle time you cannot spend shooting the breeze with your best friends or playing video games… If Jensen did not have motion sickness, he’d be reading new scripts, new books, the letters he had received but as it is the only thing he has is the music playing in the car and his restless thoughts.

[…] Here I am, On the road again  
There I am, Up on the stage  
Here I go, Playin' star again  
There I go, Turn the page […]

 

The dinners they stop by at are nothing like the fake ones, back home on the set. Their food is really greasy. He is quite used to the catering on the set, and he certainly doesn’t eat like Dean. Not that he can’t enjoy a good burger and a good platter of fries, but mostly he had to watch his figure, like every young actor in Hollywood and beyond. And the looks when he enters a locale, the way they wonder on his full lips, his swagger… He feels violated just from those looks and he wants to get home. He feels he will explode and need to de-stress asap. He needs to call, he needs to fly back, he needs to be taken in hand and blow his freaking world to pieces, so he can rebuild himself. All new and shiny.

 

[…] Well you walk into a restaurant, Strung out from the road  
And you feel the eyes upon you As you're shakin' off the cold  
You pretend it doesn't bother you But you just want to explode […]

 

And it’s not that he cannot take the clichés anymore, it’s not like he is not used to pretend… He had learned to protect who he is, what he likes, what he cares about deep within. And if it wasn’t for the love he’d found, he’d be a broken man by now.

He had found the hard way what helps him release his pent-up stress, his worries, his upsets and his angers. Jensen needs a spanking, as stupid as it sounds, as childish as it sounds, it makes him feel better. A good spanking would help anyone focus but to Jensen it was like a guilty pleasure. He knew the pain would be shooting to unbearable at some point, he knew some implements make him ache for more while others make him cow in fear, but what is the real gratification of it all is the sense of belonging. Only someone loving you fully can spank you to your limit, can read your cues, can make it smart with art instead of hitting you with hate and rage… Only his love could make it an event worth remembering, an event worth anticipating, an event he wanted to fully appreciate.

 

[…] Most times you can't hear 'em talk, Other times you can  
All the same old cliches, "Is that a woman or a man?"  
And you always seem outnumbered, You don't dare make a stand […]

 

Everyday he had his moments in the spotlight, telling a story as old as time. Fearless he faces the world and makes it better, but the world doesn’t always return the favor. For a moment in time he is the King of the World, worries miles away, giving it his all. The high so high no drugs can compare and then at times it’s the low that get’s too much and he wants to crawl in a ball and weather the storm. And then he remembers the soft slap of the wood ruler on his sweaty body, the sting of the belt on his reddened ass, the warmth brought by a warm hand, and he smiles; He knows then and he knows now how special it is to be in a committed relationship where every exploration is safe, and spanking is not a punishment but a freeing deliverance of one’s fears and uncertainties.

  
  
[…] Out there in the spotlight You're a million miles away  
Every ounce of energy You try to give away  
As the sweat pours out your body Like the music that you play […]

  
And he knows that tonight, before he fall asleep, Jensen will call home and lie in bed, the burn of a smocked cigarette still in his parched throat and whisper his nightmares and private dreams, his hopes and joys, letting his skin do the talking, tingling in anticipation, warming to the touch and burning in delight. Soon, he’ll have his precious control again.

  
[…] Later in the evening As you lie awake in bed  
With the echoes from the amplifiers Ringin' in your head  
You smoke the day's last cigarette, Rememberin' what she said […]

 

**The End.**

 

  
  
  


This is my first song fic and I hope your comments will help me improve for next time  :-)


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